Raising Whole Children in a Half-Present World

I’ve been a single mother for over 10 years.

And in that time, I’ve learned one powerful truth:

Father’s Day isn’t just one day of pain for many—it’s a reflection of an everyday reality.

For many families, this day brings up complex emotions. Not because we want it to, but because we live in a world where father absence is more common than anyone wants to admit. But this isn’t just about one holiday. This is about how we raise children in a world where half of what they need might not be showing up.

Being Present Is More Than Showing Up—It’s Holding Space

I’ve always chosen to be emotionally available for my son. In my home, feelings aren’t punished—they’re welcomed. We talk. We process. We cry when we need to, and we always find our way back to peace. I don’t believe in silencing children’s feelings, especially when those feelings come from a void they didn’t create.

Many parents, in their own pain, unknowingly tell their children to “toughen up” or “get over it.” But what children really need is permission to feel. Permission to say, “I miss someone who’s not there.” That’s where the healing begins.

We Can Break the Cycle Without Breaking Their Hearts

It’s not our job to bash the ones who left—it’s our job to build the ones who stayed.

And that includes us. The single moms. The present parents. The guardians who love without conditions.

We don’t need to teach bitterness. We don’t need to pretend we’re not tired. What we need is to give our children something better than resentment: resilience, softness, empathy, and strength.

It’s Not About Father’s Day Alone—It’s About Every Day

Pain doesn’t wait for a holiday. The absence of a parent shows up at bedtime. At school events. In silent questions. In comparison to others. And that’s why our love must show up every day too. Not just in our actions—but in the safety we create for our children to grow emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.

Being a single parent isn’t easy—but it is holy work. And when we show up with love, consistency, and truth, we raise children who know they are loved, even if one piece is missing.

To Every Present Parent: You Are Enough

You don’t have to be both mom and dad.

You just have to be you—fully, consistently, lovingly.

And that is more than enough.

Let’s raise emotionally whole children, even in a half-present world.

_Melissa Marufu Acero